(SEO note:  Keywords in the previous sentence will do well in search terms, only to sorely disappoint the users that land here expecting something a little more risque. We’ll have to do our best to satiate their desires with the end graphic.)

No, Courtney Cox was not involved. Just a bunch of over weight middle aged men clinging to their last vestiges of youthful activities they can still perform (not so well). About once a week they get out and play a little hockey. More often than they have marital sex. This game took on an atmosphere you may expect, one of competitiveness but good sportsmanship, as the oddly polite Cougar team took advantage of the Grinders own goals and penalties (sound familiar? I may just cut and paste from previous 83 entries)  to settle the game 3-0.

Actually let’s try that…. Here’s excerpts from Dec 1, 2007 versus the Cougars…

• We came out with a short bench, 10 skaters. It went without saying, keep the shifts shorts and stay outta the box.The tempo of the whole game was rather lax, so we could have been in there. And in fact we were for the first period. we made it through with no scoring from either team, but we realized that if we were going to make an impact we had to step things up.

That was about right!

October 14, 2008:

• The Grinders were clicking and getting many quality scoring chances, including at least two posts, but simply couldn’t get the puck past a hot goalie .

April 22, 2008

• The effort was big, the beer was cold and the smokies were hot; what else could you ask for? A win, maybe, but alas it was not in the cards. Gord set-up two wingers with saucer-like passes at point blank but to no avail – who were those wingers anyway? The Cougars got their first goal on a power-play.
  

March 28, 2008

• Peter plays a text-book game, making glove-hand saves, pad saves, sprawling saves and saves off his own defensemen.
  

March 24th, 2008

• The Grinders played a hard game with a few unlucky bounces that sank them, but there was a solid effort by Everyone, and I mean everyone including non-Grinders to make this game the best it could possibly be.

April 16, 2007

• Regroup at the bench. Troy is tired; Kuznak gives us the gears about getting some shots on the net. He’s right, at my count we’re at seven shots heading into the third. We’re down two goals and the frustration is starting to kick in. Puck drops in the third – me and Tanchak are out to kill off the remaining seconds in Geib’s minor, and we have Frank and Bob on the point. It goes well. Shortly after the Atoms pot their third goal and the Grinders’ spirits are crushed.

It’s who we are; long-shifting, penalty-taking, bad-lucking, no-scoring Grinders.   You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so they say.

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But you can make them salivate at the ring of a bell

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"No, no pucks in this net. I don't know why they asked us to check. We even swept in the corners. Guy wasn't playing, what do they expect?"

Peter wasn’t too busy in the first two periods so we adjusted our game plan and let him see the puck a little a little in the 3rd.  Someone on the bench mentioned the “S” word one shift prior to the Allblacks  scoring their one and only goal in the game.  Feeling guilty, perhaps, Jay took the ensuing face-off and carried the puck all the way to the Allblack netminder’s crease, but failed to score.  Unlike MR. TEIGEN who calmly placed his streak-maintaining goal into the net during the second period to extend his point-per-game streak to 5.  FIVE.   I want him on my line next game. Way to Go, Guy.

Bueno efforts were made from each and every player on the Grinders this game, with encouragement on the bench, short-shifts and a general sense of everyone giving their all. Including a glorious display of effort in the second period with a rush down the right wing, with almost Chacko-like flair and energy, until a little rub-out along the boards resulted in a Yard Sale.

Passing was the key to the game with the likes of Santa making his patented rush but then dishing off to the wingers, getting the defenders moving side to side opening up the ice in front of the net. Santa ends up with an assist on the nite, as does Triggsy, PSP and Cranston ends up with 2!

Tanchack gets a goal by letting go a blast from Yust Over the BlueLine (I capitalized that because I thought it would make a good Yorgy Yorgenson tune) and it was Newts who started it all off in the second period through good old fashioned hard work.  No need for any of that new fangled hard work.

In fact all three Grinder goals came in the second, then we hung on for dear life (See Start Strong and Hang On).  With time ticking away in the third period the Allblacks yanked their goalie and started to press in an effort to make a comeback> The Grinders were defending their end trying to do good by their keeper, wondering why it seemed a little lopsided and the pressure was a little more intense than it should be, we looked out to center ice, and what did we see? A Yard Sale.

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In the first period, however, we came out strong and came away with a 2-0 lead and never looked back. At 12:55, after a Glen and Troy poked around at a loose puck at the Goalie’s pads, it was Troy who eventually pushed it past the padded protector for the grinders goal. Glen, jealous that he couldn’t do it on his attempts took out his frustration on the Toques D-man.  The same dude would later score 2 goals in the third for the Toques in their failed attempt at a comeback.

It was Thinkchick who made his presence known next by capitalizing on a Guy Teigen assist at 13:20 of the first. And the two of them just kept on producing (Gord remember this match-up, Thinkchick and Guy on the same line). In the second period Guy deflected a Thinchick shot past the gormless goalie, then it was Thinchick, who, from the goal line beside the net roofed the rubber over the ragged rookie. That would be it for that line, with both Thinchick and Teigen ending up with 3 points on the night.

One other Grinder ended up with 3 points, PSP netted his goal in the third right after Gord deposited the dregs in the dumpster at 0:34.  Paul’s tally timed in at twelve twenty six as he eased his shot assuredly aside the shielded sentry. PSP’s other 2 points came on assists – See! He passes!

But one must not focus only on production in a proud performance but also the protection from Peter populating the parcel between the pipes. Peter took twenty two attempts to task terminating nineteen Toque tries.

But 10 other skates and a goalie did honour thy commitment and came out as ornery as ever.  Chacko made his marks early into the game scoring the first goal with help from Tanchak and Newts at 10:11, and then sitting in the sin bin 22 seconds later with an interference minor.  Not to be outdone, Jay took a penalty as well at 13:53  for hooking, and then again at 10:53 in the second for roughing, and then again in the third for Body Checking…apparently Jay wanted to go home early.

Tanchak put the Grinders up by 2 in the second with an assist from Guy, but the Storm rallied back quickly in the third, first taking advantage of the Power Play and then tie-ing it up even strength at 8:09.

But no one is keep the Grinders out this late and then hand them a loss, no siree! Dave Tanchak put another point on the board an scored the game winner after being set up with a sweet pass from Ashworth. Then Goats and Nickason added the insurance to put up a convincing 5-2 win.

But there is a story left untold as we look at the details of the game with Mr Chacko getting a 10-minute misconduct for harassing the official and setting the Grinders up for a season of officiating misery. Please, do tell.

Fine….

Turn out the lights the party’s over they say that all good things must end….

REGULAR SEASON STATS – TOP PERFORMERS

Longest Point Streak    5    Glen
Most Points in a Game    4    Paul
Most Goals in a Game    2    Gord / Paul / Andy / Jeff
Most PIMS in a Game    17    Jeff
Goals    9    Gord / Andy
Assists    17    Paul
Points    24    Paul
PIMS    29    Jeff
PPG    3    Glen
SHG    1    Jeff
GWG    3    Mike
PPGA    0.89    Paul
SO    2    Peter
GAA    2.2    Peter
SV%    0.903    Peter

PLAYOFF STATS – TOP PERFORMERS
Goals    2    Jay
Assists    2    Glen / Frank / Troy
Points    3    Glen / Frank
PIMS    4    Jay / Glen / Jeff / Paul / Andy
PPG    0
SHG    2    Jay
GWG    1    Jay / Jeff
PPGA    2    Troy
SO    1    Peter
GAA    1    Tim
SV%    0.970    Tim

Peter Hogan played another stellar game for the Grinders getting his first shutout of the playoffs and his 3rd of the season. Looks like first star of this game is going to Peter.

Jay sewed up the lead late in the third period while the Cuppa Joe Grinders had 2 men in the penalty box with under 2 minutes to go. The ass-hats pulled a bone-head move and instead of going with the 5 on 3, yanked their goalie to give themselves a 6-3, leaving their net gaping wide. Jay with his second chance on an empty netter in two games made good on this one hitting both posts (ok not really) before it hit the back of the net. A 2-0 Final advances the Grinders to their 3rd game

TONIGHT AGAINST THE ALBINO CRACKERS AT 8:45PM.

Most impressive, however, was Frank’s post goal celebration: caught on tape:

Then as Geiber sat in the sin bin for a tripping penalty it was Jay who capitalized on assists from Tidy and Troy (his second A of the night).

The third period started off a little scary as Trainor left an Ass-hat open in front of Tim to receive a pass from behind the net and bury it. But that was a quick wake-up call and the Grinders resumed their tight checking puck controlling game thereafter.  The Ass-hats started to get grumpy and cocky, getting dearly agitated from both Jay and Geiber throughout the night. The Ass-hats ended up taking 14 minutes in penalties in the third period and had 3 gentlemen ejected from the game.

The CuppaJoe Grinders took full advantage of the penalties and killed time through puck possession. PSP doing much of the work skating, controlling the puck, drawing penalties and then assisting on Ashworth’s Ass-hat Killer third period goal.

Well done boys.

See you guys next Friday April 17th at 6:45pm when we will win our second game of the playoffs.

The foist game was against the Hedgehawgs.  There are 16 species of hedgehog in five genera, found through parts of Europe, Asia, Africa, and New Zealand. There are no hedgehogs native to Australia, and no living species native to North America; which explains why they couldn’t skate.  The ice was soft and so was the hockey.  The game was slower than it should have been as the Grinders played down to the Hawgs level. Yet the grinders controlled the puck for the better part of the game and outshot the Hawgs only 19 to 9.  That doesn’t include, of course the few posts that were hit.  Peter, although only facing 9 shots, had to make a couple of breakaway sops to ensure the Grinders’ success.   That was Peter’s first of two shutouts.

The second shutout was sugnificantly more work as he faced, and stopped 23 shots on the night against the much better 5-Point Warthogs. This particular sounder of warthog, although again not native to North America, did learn to skate quite well and put up one hell of a game.  Warthogs are powerful diggers, using both heads and feet, and they play positionally sound hockey.  A fast game with numerous chanmces on both sides to put the other team away, it came down to the final 15 seconds when Andy Chacko converted a PSP rush for the games only goal. Andy redeemed himelf after falling flat on his face when attempting a previous slapshot from the point. Unlike comrade Trainor who, with a an open net and the puck on his blade made a perfect pass into the corner, some would say, almost a clearing attempt.

Next Game : Saturday, March 14th at 12:15 pm

<Picture Coming Soon>

]]> http://www.cuppajoegrinders.com/double-the-update/feed/ 1 http://www.cuppajoegrinders.com/7-2/ http://www.cuppajoegrinders.com/7-2/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 18:31:29 +0000 Your Mom http://www.cuppajoegrinders.com/?p=459 Get out there. Play. Have a beer. Laugh about it, whether a win or a loss. It’s all good at the average age of 40 for some of us its all we got. So when we get up against a team that has some players that are in the single digit divisional capabilities, “slumming it” so to speak to play with their buddies, then you just gotta go with the flow and give it what you got.

Jay certainly did, and at the time of this article is running away with the first star voting.  He sets up Goats on a 2 on 1 with a perfect pass that Goats made no mistake of burying. And then he pots the second goal with the support of Troy and Tidy. The game also saw the long awaited return of Brad Nickason to the line-up after missing far too many ice times, first with a concussion and then after a brief spell with the team he suffered a back sprain.  Welcome back old boy.

But alas, we were no match for The Crackers that have 3 players averaging 2pts per game. And their top player doing so by choice, limiting himself to that many lest their team get bumped up to a more competitive division and they only appear to be a mediocre team in Div 14.

And in closing I proudly announce the worst pun ever to appear in print: The team has decided to get together and buy Bob a Cyclone Taylor’s gift certificate for a new schtick.

Grinders played 3 games and the webmaster was negligent in posting. So here’s a quick summary to get everyone up to speed.Grinders finally get Tim a win, then turn around and do the same for Pete. Scoring seems to be no longer an issue for the team with 11 goals in three games. PSP is squeaking ahead by 1 point to lead the team in scoring. Gordie is one minor penalty ahead of Ashworth for  PIMS leader…. (Gord maybe we should have a talk), Triggsy is leading the PPGA, we just need him to show up to s’more late ones.

The last game against the Grinders was a decent one. chippy at times yes, but all-in-all a good spirited affair. We were especially in good spirits when Andy’s elbow popped off that guys helmet.

This Thursday we plays against the Albino Crackers who hold the title for the longest winning streak at 9 games BUT it all came at the beginning of the season as they were in a lower division. So take it to ‘em Grinders!

No names will be mentioned in an effort to promote team cohesiveness and spare the feelings of individuals; but here’s how the play went down. During a 5-on-3 the puck was being moved about brilliantly with shots on net and consistent pressure until the Grinders were Robbed of the puck. With the puck at the point, it was moved to the left hand side for what seemed like a decent chance for a shot on goal.  But as the point man went to shoot he Bobbled the puck (instead of pinching in) and it fluttered onto the stick of the opposition – unfortunately it also happened to be the stick of the Toques’ top scorer. He capitalized on the breakaway an ended Peter’s well deserved chance at a shutout.

The Grinders were skating hard, getting to the puck first and slowly wearing the Toques down, but they just couldn’t score.  Shots were coming in from the point left and right, and high, high enough to remove the two front teeth of a Toques’ defenseman – we all know what he wants for Christmas. Grinders had chances on breakaways with Geiber getting a solid chance, and deflections and rebounds were coming as well but we just couldn’t solve the keeper.  Hmm time to get PSP back on forward?
The Grinders look like they may be without Cracker for a while as he went down with a  groin injury early in the game and was seen after the tailgate in the parking lot hamming it up and using Lovey as a crutch to limp back to the car. “There was pretty much a lot of pain there,” Santa told the media. “Right away, I knew it wasn’t good. It’s very disappointing and frustrating. We were playing great as a team, and I was really happy with my game in the last few weeks.”
Grinders will only officially state it was lower body injury and will not release an official evaluation statement until Tuesday afternoon.

Tim also faced over 30 shots throughout the evening and pulled off more than a few brilliant saves throughout the night to keep us in the game and gave us a decent chance to win it.  Going into OT with the score tied 1-1, the Grinders again controlled most of the play, but as hockey games seem to go, it was the opposition’s one chance against the flow that won the game.

The outcome may not have been what we wanted but the play was something to be proud off by all.  It has even inspired the likes of Paris Hilton to pick up a stick and be like the Grinders.

Next game is up when we play the 5-1-1-1 Shockers Tuesday at 9pm.  We handed the Shockers one of their ones in 4-4 tie on September 8.  A victory can be in hand if we play smart and stay out the box, as last meeting we  tallied 12 PIMS against this bunch.  This upcoming game, however, Tim the ‘Tude will be in the net instead of in the box.

In the goalie race this season the Save Percentages are almost dead even with Tim at 0.880 and Peter at 0.883, but Peter is ahead when it comes to goals against allowing an average of 2.83  as compared to Tim’s 3.16.

The first period was a nondescript affair with no goals and only one penalty going to Santa for interference. That, by the way, was Santa’s only infraction in this rough and tumble affair.

But then the second period happened in which 9 penalties were called and 6 goals were scored. Each team only tallied a single goal on PowerPlays but it was the CuppaJOe Grinders that got the one and only Shorthanded marker late in the second when Triggsy got his second of the game with help from leng and Ashworth. 

After the second period the CuppaJoe Grinders were up 4-2. One period to go for them to get theor 2nd win of the season.  But it wasn’t to be. Less than a minute into the period The Bastard Grinders got their 3rd goal, and then 2 minutes later, the tieing goal came from #15 John Rich. A spare ringer brought in for his first game and getting two points on the night.  And then somehow he ends up having a beer with us at the tailgate.  Ahh the sportsmanship of Beer League Hockey. 

The shots were even, the scored was tied, the teams were grumpy but shook hands afterwards and the beer was cold. That officially means  the only remarkable aspect about this game was the miserable refereeing. Perhaps a new recruitment policy is in order…here’s my candidate:

The Grinders were clicking and getting many quality scoring chances, including at least two posts, but simply couldn’t get the puck past a hot goalie* see below.  Not until Mr Ashworth received the puck at the point from Tidy and let loose a blast that beat the Funds net minder to tie the game 1-1.  The game would remain that way until Overtime. Gord – was it Gord? – managed to pop one in during a scramble around the net. But alas it wasn’t to be. For the fourth time this game the net was mysteriously knocked off it’s moorings and the play was ruled blown dead before the puck went in.

Going up against the top penalized team with a short bench used to spell disaster for the “CuppaJoe Grinders.”  Our competitive Grind and short tempers would goad us to respond in kind.  ( poetry!)

But sound logic is rearing it’s wizened head   In the dressing room before game time the boys declared an oath to stay out of the box against this team, and simply skate away; let the refs look after the cheap shit. Guess what…it worked.  The cheap shot grinders ended up with 16 min in penalties, two game ejections and we got the 5-2 win and a free pitcher of beer!

The CuppaJoe Grinders had 10 skaters – three of them Spare and got a solid effort.  Jason Clarke opened the scoring in the first period beating the goalie on a breakaway. Yes, Jason scored on a breakaway – a feat that usually demands both speed and skill.  His 4th goal of the season….a career high?.  The other Grinders quickly replied to send it to the intermission 1-1.  Falling behind in the 2nd period we quickly responded on the power play as Goat’s rifled home a bullet from the slot fom Troy and thinchick.  The second period would end like the first, tied, this time 2-2.

Into the third, the Good Guy Grinders took over.  James Teddai moved to center for Rob and with three minutes in, corralled a breakaway stretch pass from Gord Schmidt to put them up three two and they never looked back.  Just 42 seconds later, Jeff Triggs playing stellar on the point all night, wires a shot top corner from the point.  A final talley from James on a wrap around put the game out of reach while two Bad Boy Grinders worked Gord over on front  with a pathetic display of unsportsmanship as they took penalty after penalty, including two game ejections.  In the dieing seconds, Guy was driven into the boards and responded like the proverbial bull as if channelled by a combination of Dave Tanchak and Rowdy Roddy Piper! He challenged anyone in his way, refs, or any of the two grinder teams on the ice.  So intense and out of character was his ire that upon his return to the bench the team had cowered to one end.  One team member was driven to tears…..?

All was forgotten after the game when the next calamity was realized…no beer!  To the rescue came Beer man extraordinare Dave Tanchak with a cooler at the ready in his car.

GAME SUMMARY PROVIDED BY GOATS
Once upon a time there was Grinders’ game on a Saturday afternoon. The Burgundy warriors were soon to face off against the might Shockers – a team the Grinders had bested before. Warm-up was awesome as the guys peppered Goats with shots from the hash marks and breakaways from the corner. Feeling pumped up and ready to go, the lads gathered in around the crease… 1,2,3, GRINDERS! And the games was underway.
The action was snail paced save for a player on the Shockers, whose socks were reminiscent of the Edmonton Oilers dynasty era, who danced the Grinders inside out and backwards. He ran the ice like a cat, dodging, weaving and generally making a mockery of the Grinders’ thrown together defence.The Shockers ran the first period, potting three early goals. On the first goal Houghton backed into Goats, leaving him blinded by at minimum ten yards of burgundy fabric in his direct vision. The shot went into the net without protest. Minutes later, Goats sealed a pad to the left post as a Shocker skated out from behind the net, placing a perfect pass onto the waiting stick of a completely unguarded Shocker on the right post. He placed it int the net without protest. Minutes later once again, the Grinders’ defencemen stopped skating and let a Shocker skate right past them and walk in on goal, sliding the puck under an outstretched Goats’ left pad. The puck slid into the net with only minor protest.

The second period, however, the Grinders owned the Shockers. Pressing in their end, we moved the puck well. We had myriad chances around the net, bashing, slamming, shooting from the point, but nothing. Shots hit ankles in front. Shots hit sticks at the hash marks. The Shockers’ keeper casually flung the puck aside over and again. But the Grinder’s worked hard to keep the puck in their end, and no more damage was done in their own end during the second period.In the third, the Grinders’ came out with guns blazing. Gieber, T-chak, Gordie, and Stace busted their hineys trying to pot a goal. The passing was clean and the pace was good, but not good enough.

Just as the steam came to a head, the Shockers managed to slip the d once again and hit a the open man to pot the 4th goal; the nail in the coffin for the Grinders. Not willing to give up so easily, the Grinders mounted an assault on the Shockers late in the game. T-chak raced speedily towards the goal mouth and banged in his own rebound to break the goose egg and and give the Grinders a boost. But it was not enough. The Grinders wearily played the remaining two minutes just shutting the door as best they could. Luckily the Shockers were tired too and lifted the puck into the corner of the Grinders’ end instead of charging for the net. The game ended 4-1 Shockers.

On the good side, not a single Grinder spent time in the sin bin and as a result Goats, Stace, Leng, T-chak and Guy partook in a post match free pitcher. On the bad side, we lost on account of poor skating and some early goals.

Three star picks – 1. T-chak – a goal and no penalties!; 2. Geiber – worked his ass off to keep the puck in their end; also lent Goats an undershirt; 3. Tosh – well, he wasn’t on our team, but he only got one goal; it could have been much worse.

Just Kidding: (about the pic)

In honour of Goats stepping up for two games and playing to the best of his ability as well as writing the game summary, I present to you, Grinder Goalie Girl.